he could've been
by TheVeryCheesyAuthor
Summary: She dies with a quiet and silent scream, mouth open to drink the air-the air she would not receive. She dies thinking that her death would be Lucius's triumph.


Books » Harry Potter » **lucius is a good boy**

Author: TheVeryCheesyAuthor

Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst _._

 _Devilish Gambles_

 _._

 _Borne from family ashes, lost in agony, and alone at death._

 _.._

 _..._

 _.._

 _._

 _I am Lucius Malfoy._

* * *

Lucius had never heard nor felt his mother's living voice and touch. His first breath was his mother's last, a sacrifice made to prove that he would live and she would not. She dies with a quiet and silent scream, mouth open to drink the air, the air she would not receive.

She dies thinking that her death would be his triumph.

Lucius's father is delirious the moment she passed away, crying and moaning as he brings the silent babe in his arms. The baby is unaware that his mother had made the ultimate sacrifice.

Abraxas Malfoy is using every spell he knows, trying to revive the dead woman.

The doctors give up trying to tell the madman that the universal rule still applies to pure bloods– No human being has magic that can make another rise from the dead.

His birth-father is contorted with rage and almosts throws the child on the ground for murdering his wife. It was the first and most painful life that Lucius takes, nor would it be the last. He clutches the legacy that his wife had given him, the light haired devil.

Still furious, he scribbles the word ' _Lucius'_ on the medical birth records. He means to write Lucifer, but his hand is shaking as he does it, unable to write the cursed word. The nurses look at him with false sympathy and pity. Too many have already died that day.

He smiles, knowing it is a perfectly good name. The man has tears down his face but yet he's mouth is stretching at its limits, seemingly trying to tear his thin lips open.

Abraxas is filled with regret and waiting for death to open its doors to him.

.

..

.

Lucius did not have a happy childhood. Even at the age of four, he had been cursed with magic that is too strong to handle. A laser had been shot and gone undetected, silencing the little muggle's girlish and high pitched screams.

In his gut, his instincts had already told him to kill this girl.

He imagined her life blood running down his pale white hands, staining them a baby pink. Lucius imagined her gasping, struggling for breath like his poor mother did.

Instead of his father giving him a good beating, Abraxas praises him with a thin lipped smile, combing his hair.

 _Telling him that he is a good boy for killing the female pig._

 _._

 _.._

 _._

His father is praising him, constantly smiling and telling him how he has been such a good boy lately. Abraxas knows his time is up soon, and it is time to give Lucius the title of being the Patriarch of the Malfoy Family.

Lucius is smiling, almost laughing from joy.

He pushes his trolley through the wall by himself, ending up on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Lucius's father has long since gone after dropping him off.

Lucius has gifted himself a snow white barn owl. It cooed as Lucius brushed the white feathers.

As he sat in the train, the large bird slowly lifted up its wings to reveal gold, leaf like feathers before shutting it again.

The owl has given Lucius a wonderful feeling that stirred in his stomach. It almost feels like a praise from his father.

 _Almost._

There are people that now surround him, marveling at the Malfoy Heir. He was famous.

So, so famous.

.

..

.

Lucius is now 14 and on his way to meet Voldemort. His father had dressed him up smartly in his best robes. They both looked clean, crisp, and rich.

When they arrive, there are mudbloods lined up against the walls, with their voice muffled by a spell. Voldemort is young, so very young. Lucius thinks that the man looks almost handsome with the exception of his red piercing eyes and fork like tongue.

He stood up straighter, almost smiling now.

Lucius also thinks how ironic it is that Voldemort was french for flight of death.

He keeps this joke to himself as he clutched his wand fervently.

The pale man lifts a bony finger to Lucius's chin and twirls his head. Up, down, right, left, the man is smiling as he does this. Lucius is inwardly cringing, but he puts on a brave face and looks at Tom Riddle with hard eyes.

Voldemort is almost giddy and screams, " Bravo!"

He has taken an immediate liking to Lucius. The cloaked and masked men slowly clap and bring forward a mudblood. All charms are removed and she is screaming and crying for mercy.

Tom smiles, with a snake like gleam to his eyes, " Lucius-s-s you mus-st kill this worthles-s-s mudblood to join!"

The girl looks terrified and Lucius stares directly at her. He looks carefully and can identify green eyes and brown eyes. She has a tall, large nose, glasses, and a very pimply face. She is Ravyn, a weak Hufflepuff.

" No, please, Lucius, don't kill me!"

Everyone in Lucius's year has heard of him, one of the richest legacies in Hogwarts.

" D-Don't kill me!"

He scoffs and murmurs an unforgivable curse, taking pleasure in her pain. She is writhing, screaming, begging, and crying to die. He laughs because just a minute ago, she had been begging to not die.

Lucius hears laughs, knowing he has done well to please the Dark Lord.

She is repeatedly smashed against the wall and forced awake. He feels dark liquid drop on his head and knows, it is blood.

Right when she dies is when he collapses. All the Death Eaters think he has done so well they allow him to sleep. Abraxas is horrified but does not show it. His son was a monster, and...

 _He was the father of it!_

In his nagging conscience, Abraxas knows that it is not exhaustion but the memories of Lucius's mother dying to give birth to Lucius, the white haired devil. Abraxas feels the same gut wenching feeling every time he thinks of her.

Lucius's father spots the knife by the bedside and is tempted to end his an Lucius's life once and for all. To get rid of the _monster_ his love and he had created.

 _To get rid of the monster he had raised._

Instead, he touches Lucius's cheek with the dagger, gently drawing a thin line of blood.

Abraxas pockets the knife and whispers words that haunts Lucius.

 _Lucius is sleeping and Abraxas tells him he is a very good boy for succeeding._

.

..

.

Happiness does not last, he learns this from all the lives he has taken and the deeds he has done.

Lucius is 16, and his newly tattooed Death Eater mark burns.

He feels empty, as if a part of him is missing, but he ignores it. He is neither anxious nor nervous.

All his Slytherin friends talked about the first time their mark burned, something bad is about to happen. Lucius does not trust anyone but Severus, Narcissa and her sister, Bellatrix. Lucius thinks their names are beautiful.

He does not deny the physical attraction he has for Narcissa.

Unmarked.

Untouched.

And sad...

His father is standing there, with his unnoticable gray hairs twined with his light blond hair. Abraxas is grim, as if he knows something.

Lucius's father does not say anything but traces the thin and fading scar on Lucius's cheek with his finger.

The prefect is stone still with a gut wrenching feeling.

" Lucius-s-s, my boy..." Voldemort hisses out, " You mus-s-st kill your father if you want to be a real Death Eater."

Abraxas does not look at him pleading eyes, but looks at him with disappointment. Deep in his heart, his father knows that it is his fault for not loving the murderer he has created.

Lucius is not thinking, he is mechanical as he flings his father around and around to the delight of his 'friends'. They cheer as he die, blood spilling everywhere in the death room.

He is unfeeling and a loyal dog to his master, the fleeting death.

" You are such a good boy."

They stir up a feeling of temporary pride, yet it does not feel like same when his father says it.

 _I am such a good boy._

These words trigger something from him and he feels water dripping down from his eyes to his face. He wipes it off and licks it, cringing at the salty taste.

" Narcissa... There is a leak from my room. It's from the salt water pool we just installed to make taffy."

She does not tell him that he is crying. She simply nods and holds him in his arms as more tears leak from his eyes.

Narcissa does not mind that these are the first tears that have ever leaked from his eyes, nor does she mind that he is beating her chest furiously and bawling like a babe.

" I'm a good boy!"

She does not talk about her beauty, she simply holds him until his howls have quieted and his chants have ended.

His closed, puffy eyes and quiet snores tell her that he is asleep, peacefully unconscious.

 _Narcissa tells him what a poor, poor boy he is in his sleep._

 _._

 _.._

 _._

* * *

 _ **Was that an okay fanfiction? Should I continue?**_

 _ *** Note: Abraxas is Lucius's father.**_


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